Home > 2009-2010 books, Author of color, Author of European descent, From: library, Genre: Non-fiction, Library: Boston Public Library > 20. “Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me,” edited by Ben Karlin

20. “Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me,” edited by Ben Karlin

My sister read this book and I thought the title was funny so I got it from the BPL. It took two trips, as they seem to be desperately short-staffed right now and every table is stacked high with a truly frightening number of books. I went twice in a week and I swear I saw the same books still out. If you have noticed that I am still talking about the state the BPL is in, it’s because this book was pretty forgettable and rather problematic.

There were some truly funny parts that had me snickering on the train, and with each story clocking in at about three pages, it was a very quick read, which I appreciate more and more these days. But all of the authors took a similar approach where they would admit their short-comings and end up (half-jokingly, but still consistantly) relating a story about that bitch who dared not date them. It’s just disquieting for the theme of most of these pieces to be “women so crazy/bitchy/heartless/stupid and interchangable” (a few authors change the names of the same woman more than once within a piece).

Also, my partner did not appreciate the title.

Page count: 221
Page total: 4,794

Quotes follow
From #11: A Grudge Can Be Art, by Andy Selsberg

What was I supposed to do with all this? People rarely say, “you know what I need to do? Carry a grudge. An old-fashioned, dense and righteous grudge.” Forgiveness and forgetfulness are perscribed so often that we’re likely to forget the grudge is even an option. But I didn’t feel like I had any other choice. The grudge picked me.
It’s not easy. I didn’t have any experience with grudges, had no good models to follow, so I had to wing it. A year or so after the broke up with me, the actress crotched me a scarf. Most likely, she really did love me as a person, or at least felt some guilt she wanted to ease. I could’ve just accepted the scarf […] but that wouldn’t have been true to my grudge. Instead, I took the scarf back to the girl at work. I said it was the only scarf that made me feel colder when I put it on. Zing! I was hoping she would cry and be mad at me. She did! She was! I swear, I had a grudgegasm. (74-5)

Who knew a grudge could be so sweet? I would love it if a girl I dumped cared enough to stage a performance based partly on my idiotic moves [as I did] and then prohibited me frm attending. I even started to feel disheartened by exes who didn’t carry a grudge but probably should. It’s like, don’t you care? (75)

From #44, “Get Dumped Before it Matters,” by David Rees

In short, divorce is an expensive, life-shattering, and inconvenient way to learn elementary lessons about life and love.
Lessons like […] if it’s before noon, it’s not called a “five o’clock shadow”– it’s called “shave, you loser.” (184-5)

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